Minsan

It was signal number 1 in Manila( yes I looked it up on the net that day). I was in some bar in SM Mall of Asia, drunk. For the past few weeks I’ve been drowning myself in Red Horse beer and some cheap brandy just to forget the misery of a failed relationship. 5 whole years down the drain. Sitting there, alone, actually made me realize how lucky I am to have the freedom to just flirt with anyone. But, I don’t have the guts to do that so I’m ok with just looking at some of the elite bomb shells of the Philippines and cringe at the thought of what it would be like to spend an entire day with one of them.

I’m the type of guy that weighs personality more than physical poignance. So I haven’t really been into the pursuit of class-S type of girls believing that all of them possess the eloquence of speech but the intellect of a thirteen year old.. “Playing safe” I regrettably confess and assume that that would be the right term for guys like me. So there I was dreaming like a 13 year old, when I suddenly received an SMS. “Asan ka?”

One of man’s greatest invention of the 20^th century, the cellular phone, was telling me that some girl sent me a message asking me where I was and what I was doing. No it was not my mom. It was “her”. Yup, “the her”…Of course at that time I had no clue who she was or what role would she play in my life. That time she was just some girl, who’s number was given to me by a friend that believed she could never make me smile so she’d give someone else’s number for me to text and make me waste and spend my prepaid load.

My friends are so convinced that the only way I could forget my ex was to enter another freaking relationship. Yeah they love me that much that they were hooking me up with other girls. Hell I don’t even know if the girls they set me up with liked the idea of being a rebound girl. It got so terrible that one of them even brought me to a beer house. Oh my, sins galore. I was so nauseous and sleepy that night that all I could reply were questions on why the hell she was texting or what on earth was she thinking texting a guy she haven’t even met. Right then and there…a textmate was born…

“Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object? take me there.”

I don’t really hook up with textmates for the very reason that one can’t

expect to have a decent relationship out of such means of meeting. The same goes for the girls that I meet in bars and online. I never was the type of guy who would invest on something platonic and superficial. How in the world can you tell if the person you are talking to is telling the truth. I’ve been taken advantage so many times now that my heart has developed a certain phobia on people that is extraordinarily sweet and affectionate.

For about 2 months and a half now we’ve been constantly texting. I’ve been able to talk to her a number of times already and I’m currently planning a surprise something for her. A big risk I say! I’m coming out of my shell to pursue the shadow of a person who has picked me up from the slumps of depression. And hey! she’s 5 years younger than me. Well I don’t’ really consider that as a big thing. After all my younger sister’s current boyfriend is 4 years older than me. My sister’s 21 and I’m 22.

2 weeks. I asked her to wait for two weeks before we formally meet up. That was enough time to gather my resources and prepare myself for an inevitable spine chilling encounter. I believe that I still love my ex (a bit, which equates to probably 10%) but I’m giving this a chance. I have nothing to lose so I might as well do it. I don’t really know what would happen but the good thing is I really don’t care.